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时间轴： shortcut
大家好 Hi, everyone.
我是佐伊·史蒂文斯 I'm Zoey Stevens,
今天 我要同时担任两个角色 既是伴娘 And today I am multitasking as the maid of honor
又是新娘的女儿 And the daughter of the bride,
所以可能你们 So you will be receiving
得接受我的两次祝酒 two toasts for the price of one.
首先 我想说我非常高兴的是 First off, I just want to say how happy I am
我的妈妈终于又找到了真爱 that my mom has finally found love again.
她是我所见过的最乐于奉献的人 She is the most giving person I know,
我们俩时不时会一起做些事 And we've been together, just us, for some time now,
她不仅仅是我的妈妈 更是我最好的闺蜜 So she's not only my mom, but she's my best friend.
我爱你 妈妈 I love you, mom.
而在这次结合中 And one of the...
最值得庆幸的 Blessings of this union
就是我们多了几个共同住在一起 Is that we now have a new collection of people
的家庭成员 we're living with.
有泰德 There's ted...
噢耶 Boo-yah!
和他的儿子们 And his sons,
亚当 Adam...
各位好 Hi.
扎克 Zack...
大家好 Hello!
和本 And Ben...
我母亲常说 My mom always says
挑战同时代表着机遇 that "change" is another word for "opportunity."
嗯 机遇不就来了嘛 And, well, this is an opportunity.
和四位男生住在一起 To live with four guys.
四个男生啊 Four guys
并且他们的神奇之处在于 And their mysterious odors
他们总会把责任推到狗上 That they always blame on the dog.
哦 对 Oh, that's right.
差点忘了 I almost forgot,
那狗叫汉弗莱 There's Humphrey.
汉弗莱也是公的 Humphrey is also male.
总计就有五个了 So that's five.
五位男神和我住在一起 Five males that I am living with.
不好意思 扯远了 But I digress.
让我们一起举杯 Will you all join me in raising a glass
这杯酒要敬 As we toast--
汉弗莱 Humphrey!
到这儿来 Come here, boy!
噢 不 不 不要 Oh, no, no, no...
好 我稳住它了 Okay, I got it.
-汉弗莱 不要 - 快回来 别跑 - Humphrey! No! - Come here, boy! Come here!
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翻译： shortcut Tracy Kevin_Xk HidyLi
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翻译： wangzhenx 战忽局副局座 WaitinZ
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校订： WaitinZ
好了 我们逮到狗了 It's okay, we got him!
我们没事儿 We're cool!
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后期： WaitinZ Kevin_Xk
敬我的新家庭 To my new family.
手机人生
一周以后...
起床时间到 It's go-time!
六点三刻了 同志们 6:45 am, boys!
起来 快起床 别偷懒 Up! Up! Up! Up! Up!
行动起来 抓紧时间 Let's get it moving! Let's get it moving!
就像这样 各位 快 That's it! Everybody, move!
别磨磨蹭蹭的 都给我动起来 Keep it moving, people! Keep it moving!
我们必须赶上校车 We gotta get that bus!
我们一定要赶上 没错 一定 We're gonna get it! Yes, we are!
给我动起来 Let's keep it moving!
嘿 小子 早上好 Hey, morning, sport.
我说的是 I mean...
早上好 姑娘 Hi, girl.
把那东西给我 快给我 Give me that, give me that.
美女 Gal?
早上好 漂亮姑娘 Hi, girl gal!
汤普森先生 这是怎么回事 Mr. Thompson, what is going on?
我们家被入侵了嘛 Are we being invaded?
不不 这只是上学的日子我们叫孩子们起床的 No, no, just a little wake-up ritual we do here
例行公事罢了 On school days.
还有 拜托 我们现在是一家人了 And please, we're a family now.
叫我老爸呗 Call me "Dad!"
呃 抱歉 Uh, excuse me.
我已经站在这里了 I'm in here already,
在用洗手间 Using the bathroom?
你应该知道这房子里只有两间洗手间 You know there's only two bathrooms in the house.
我们得分享 We gotta share.
这是什么 用来刷鼻子的吗 What's this? A nose brush?
这是我的睫毛膏 谢谢 That is my mascara, thank you.
祛痘遮瑕霜 "Acne spot concealer?"
把东西放下 Put that down.
那这个 And...
好厉害 Cool!
这东西能喷烟雾耶 This makes smoke!
真要这样嘛 Seriously?
难以置信 Unbelievable.
额 这屋子里的人上厕所都不会瞄准吗 Ugh, doesn't anybody in this house aim?
好脏 好恶心 Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew.
汉弗莱 你不能吃那东西 Humphrey, you can't eat that.
那是铅笔 That's a pencil.
这样吧 给你吃橡皮吧 Here. Eat this eraser instead.
我的篮球在哪里 噢 找到了 Where's my basketball? Oh, there it is.
还有我的战术手册呢 And my playbook?
我的皮带又在哪儿 Ooh, and my belt?
还有我的钱包呢 And my wallet?
我貌似还是忘记了一些东西 I'm forgetting something.
你的裤子 Your pants.
对 我的裤子呢 Yes! My pants!
我的裤子在哪里 Where are my pants?
小裤裤 你快给我出来吧 Where are my pants? Where are my...
好吧 打扰一下 Okay, excuse me,
我们定几个基本准则 好吗 Can we just establish a few ground rules, here?
第一 One,
如果你没穿着裤子 If you are not wearing pants,
那就请你离我的私人空间远一点 好嘛 Please stay out of my personal space bubble, okay?
第二 如果女生已经占用了卫生间 And two, if a girl is in the bathroom,
那么那位女生理应独自享用卫生间 The girl should be allowed to remain alone in the bathroom.
听着 佐伊 早上我有篮球训练 Look, Zoey, I have morning basketball practice,
然后有队员会议 And then a players' meeting,
接下来还有队长会议 And then a captains' meeting,
还有好多好多要练习 And then even more practicing,
这些可只是上课前的安排 懂吗 And that's all before class even starts, okay?
我想说的是 My point is,
家里已经有套制度 We have systems in this house--
我们在一起奋斗 就像上好油的机器 We work together, like a well-oiled machine.
你也许不能这么奢侈地 You're probably not going to have the luxury
自己享用卫生间 所以 of much alone time in the bathroom, so...
哟 今天吃煎饼 Hey, it's pancake day!
咬他 好狗狗 Sic him, boy!
你显然没有充分了解狗 You clearly lack a fundamental understanding of dogs.
科学证明 It's a known scientific fact
狗不会背叛自己的本能 that they never betray their own instincts
更不会背叛自己的主人 or turn against their own pack.
人人皆知 Everybody knows this.
如果你愿意我可以给你推荐点读物 I can recommend some reading if you'd like.
不用了 I think I'm good.
谢谢 Thanks.
加上鸡蛋 Add the egg.
加根腌黄瓜 Add the pickle.
嘿 准备好吃早餐了吗 Hey! Are you ready for some breakfast?
呃 这是什么 Um, what are those?
高蛋白煎饼 Protein pancakes!
蕴含了我的独门秘方 My own special, secret recipe.
汉弗莱 Humphrey.
嘿 接着 Hey, boy.
- 接得好 - 也给我来一块 -look at that catch! -yummy for my tummy!
配上酱料更美味哟 Don't forget the hot sauce!
好吧 Okay.
不错吧 Ha ha!
谢你一家 Thank you,
我还是要我的 But I'm just going to stick with my--
我的软干酪 stick with my cottage cheese.
我的软干酪呢 Where's my cottage cheese?
-不妙 - 是你拿了我的软干酪吗 - Uh-oh. - You stole my cottage cheese?
我以为你会吃我的特制煎饼呢 I thought you'd want my pancakes!
真尴尬 Awkward.
再给我块煎饼 Pass me another pickle.
妈妈 以后上学前的早上都得像这样吗 Mom, is it going to be like this every day before school?
不 No.
不会 No...
当然也有可能 Maybe.
我们习惯一些做事方式 We are used to doing things a certain way,
他们也习惯一些做事方式 And the boys are used to doing things...
完全不同的方式 A totally different way.
嘿 Hey...
我有东西要给你 I have something for you.
是我的音乐盒 It's my music box.
还记得爸爸送我这个的时候吗 Do you remember when dad got this for me?
那次他出差回来 On one of his business trips?
我记得 I remember.
我经常幻想自己住在这座城堡里 I always dreamed of living in this castle.
我敢说城堡里手机信号肯定不好 I bet that castle had terrible cell reception.
咱们都知道我可受不了这个 And we both know I couldn't live with that.
总之 So...
第一天 First day
去你的新高中 At your new high school.
很激动吧 It's exciting!
准备好你的舞蹈选拔了嘛 You ready for your dance tryouts?
其实我很紧张 I'm actually really nervous.
你一定能行的 亲爱的 Oh, you are gonna do great, sweetheart.
谢谢你 妈妈 Thanks, mom.
我会把这个放到你的房间的 I will put this in your room.
我的包呢 Where's my bag?
接好 Head's up!
原料装配完成 Second batch!
准备混合 Ready to mix!
等等 你忘 Wait, you forgot the--
太棒了 Awesome!
盖盖子了 --lid.
我错了 My bad.
好吃极了 Delicious!
- 抱歉 佐伊 - 是啊 抱歉 - Sorry about that, Zoey. - Yeah, sorry, Zoey.
他就这么个人 对吧 Boys will be boys, right?
汉弗莱 Aw, humphrey!
好 你要一直往前 穿过停车场 Okay, you are heading that way, across the lot,
然后右转 再右转 Then you're gonna make a right, then another right.
再左转 Then a left.
看到第二个门之后左转 右转 在左转 Second door, left again, then right, then left.
懂了吗 太好了 我要走了 Got it? Good! I gotta run.
我不懂 I didn't...
真得这样吗 起码的礼貌呢 Really? Manners much?
打扰一下 你能 Excuse me, can you...
哦 打扰一下 你们谁能 Oh, uh, excuse me, can one of you--
这真是 That is an...
你们用身体创造出来的 amazing smell that you guys have created...
惊人的味道 with your bodies.
嗨 打扰一下 Hi, uh, excuse me?
你们谁能 Could one of you...
你们好 Hello?
注意到我吗 Anyone?
这个 你们好 抱歉 Uh, hi, excuse me,
能告诉我242教室怎么走吗 Can someone please direct me to room 242?
你是 新来的吗 Are you, uh, new 'n' stuff?
嗯 没错 Uh, yeah.
虽然不清楚你指哪方面新来的 I'm not really sure what "stuff" You're talking about,
不过 这个 But, uh...
我想我们都是带包来的 对吧 I guess we all come with baggage, right?
恐怕特里普没听懂 I'm afraid the tripp doesn't follow...
旅行 什么旅行 The trip? What trip?
特里普斯特 The Tripp-ster.
特里普索恩 The Tripp-thon.
是我 我叫特里普 It's me. I'm Tripp.
你用第三人称描述自己 Oh, you refer to yourself in third person.
臭气炸弹 Fart bomb!
噢 我的天哪 Oh, my goodness.
这种事都发生了 That just happened.
你个野人 You neanderthal!
随你怎么说 That's right,
特里普耍到你了 The Tripp got you.
你被我耍了 You've been tripped up!
哦 郑重声明 Oh, and for the record,
特里普·冯·温克尔可不是野人 The Tripp-van-winkle is not neanderthean,
他是瑞士德国裔 He's Swiss-German,
但也从他妈那里混到意大利的血 With a little Italian on his mother's side.
什么 What?
在逗我吗 Are-are you kidding me?
没人看见吗 Did anyone see that?
在这所学校里你可以毫无顾忌地向别人放屁吗 You can just fart on someone with impunity at this school?
不幸的是 还真行 Sadly, I think you can.
学校没规定不能朝别人放屁 The school charter makes no mention of farts.
理论上他们可以这么做 They're technically legal.
你看起来迷路了 You look lost.
嗯 是有点 Uh, yeah, I am.
我只是想找到去242教室的路 I need to find room 242?
太巧了 That's so refreshing.
我也经常迷路 I'm usually the clueless one.
跟我来吧 Follow me.
我正好顺路 It's on my way.
自我介绍下 我是蕾切尔 I'm rachel, by the way.
我叫佐伊 很高兴认识你 I'm Zoey. Good to meet you.
我也很高兴见到你 Nice to meet you, too.
谢谢你帮我找到我的储物柜 Thanks for helping me find my locker.
好像担心它随时会跑似的 Like you're worried it's gonna run away.
不好意思 Oh. Sorry.
我的生活基本上都装在这里面 I just kind of keep my whole life in here.
这学校的男生都这么傻缺吗 Are all the boys at this school such knuckleheads?
我更愿意认为他们有挑战性 I like to think of them as "challenging,"
其实 Which is to say, yeah,
和傻缺的意思差不多啦 Pretty much knuckleheads.
傻缺 真是个好词啊 What a great word, "Knuckleheads."
我们得把这词发扬光大 We gotta bring that one back.
不过他们也挺可爱的不是吗 But the boys here are cute, aren't they?
都很可爱 All of them.
我觉得现在是整个大西湖地区 I think we have the highest percentage of cute boys
男生可爱比例最高的时候 in the entire Greater Westlake area.
事实上 好像有某个大学曾经做过可爱比例的调查 In fact, I think some college actually did a cuteness study,
咱们学校名列榜首呢 And we came out on top.
当然 他们也有缺点啦 I mean, sure, they have their flaws,
如果我能做到 And sure, if I could stop myself
不是醒着的每一分钟都想着他们 from spending every waking minute thinking about them,
可能我就不会这么想了 可惜我做不到 I probably would, but I can't,
所以我已经学会面对现实了 And I've learned to live with that.
哇 听上去你有点 Wow, you seem a little...
对男生痴狂 Oh, boy crazy?
没错 诊断结果就是这么说的 Yeah, that's the official diagnosis.
嘿 查理 Hey, Charlie.
和你说话很开心 It was nice talking to you!
说说你吧 So, what's your deal?
你有什么爱好 What kind of stuff are you into?
跳舞 我很喜欢 Uh, dance, that's my passion.
不会吧 You're kidding.
我也是个舞者哦 I'm a dancer, too!
舞者这词有些自以为是啦 Well, "Dancer," Is putting it generously.
那你今天准备参加学校舞蹈队的选拔吗 Are you trying out for a varsity squad today?
当然了 Oh, yeah, definitely.
其实我在以前的学校也跳舞来着 I actually danced at my old school,
而且本来今年应该去参加州总决赛的 And I was supposed to go to state finals this year,
不过 But, um, well,
因为搬到这里了 I moved here, so...
哇 好厉害啊 Wow. Fancy.
哪天你出人头地了 Hey, when you make it to the big leagues,
可不要忘了我们这些小人物哦 Don't forget us little people.
我是说真正意义上的小 And I do mean "Little."
因为你看上去比我高半头 Literally, you're like a foot taller than me.
好了 你的教室到了 Well, this is your room.
认识你很开心 佐伊 It was great meeting you, Zoey.
我也是 You too.
谢谢你 Thank you.
不客气 No problem.
呃 好吧 Uh... Okay.
我想 I'm guessing that
除非那个虫子会解二次方程 unless that bug can solve quadratic equations,
否则你们肯定不是在上高等代数 this is not advanced algebra.
你该去西区242室 You want west 242
在学校的另一边 On the other side of campus.
凯尔同学 Mr. Kale!
请注意听课 Pay attention!
一会儿有个随堂测试 There will be a quiz.
是要考蟑螂吗 On the praying mantis?
非洲巨绿蟑螂 Sphodromantis viridis?
昆虫纲节肢动物中的食肉者 Carnivorous member of phylum arthropoda, class insecta?
主要特征有 擅长用前腿捕食 Distinguished by its raptorial forelegs
以及母虫子会吃公虫子 and a tendency for the females to eat the males?
我想我已经准备好了 I think I'm ready for it.
摘掉你的太阳镜 Just put away the sunglasses
送这个姑娘去西区242室 And escort this young lady to west 242.
你也是这里的学生吗 So, you're a student here?
很显然是了 Obviously, you're a student here.
如果你是其他学校的学生 If you went somewhere else,
你可能就去其他学校了 You'd probably be there.
是的 有可能 Yes, I probably would...
就不会在这儿了 ...be there.
也不是说在这儿就不好 Not that that would be a bad thing.
可是这学校也太疯狂了 I mean, this place is nuts.
简直像部恐怖片 It's like a horror movie.
不对 No, it's like...
应该说是部吓人的自然纪录片 It's like that crazy nature video,
我不断地被互相放屁的 And I'm constantly being attacked by horrible praying mantis-boys
蟑螂似的可怕男生攻击 who fart on each other all day.
也难怪你戴着太阳镜 像个独行狼似的 No wonder you do the silent-lone-wolf sunglass-rebel thing.
哦 这个 Oh, this?
这是早上煎饼溅上的 It's pancake mishap this morning.
不是 我没 No, no, no, I'm not...
我没在看那个 I'm not looking at that.
呃 那你在看什么呢 Okay, well then, what are you looking at?
我在看你 I'm looking at you.
好吧 Okay...
所以说 So, uh...
我们俩 Here we are...
站在走廊 in the hallway,
互相看着彼此 Looking at each other.
真是一点也不奇怪啊 That's not weird.
我觉得我已经了解你了 I think I've got you figured out.
- 真的吗 - 嗯 - Oh, really? - Mm-hmm.
你应该是这样的人 You like things just so.
房间很整洁 海报贴得很整齐 Your room is clean, your posters are framed,
我敢打赌 And I bet all of your books
你的书都包着你自己做的书皮 have nice little homemade covers on them.
而且我还感觉到你的艺术气息 And I'm getting an artistic vibe.
你是不是 Maybe...
喜欢跳舞 Maybe dance?
我刚才是说了独行狼吗 Okay, did I say lone wolf?
应该是古怪的通灵独行狼 I think I meant, weirdly psychic lone wolf.
哦 还严重地沉迷于手机 Oh, and a serious phone addiction.
我猜你肯定是整天盯着手机屏幕 I bet you stare at that screen all day long.
郑重申明 Okay, for the record,
我限制自己每天只玩俩小时 I limit myself to two hours a day.
最多三小时 Three, tops.
手机上有软件到时间会提醒我 I have an app that times me.
哦 Oh...
挺不错啊 That's impressive.
你的教室到了 So, this is your room.
后会有期了 智能手机女孩 I'll see you around, smartphone.
抱歉 借过 Sorry. Excuse me.
你来啦 You're here!
我有个好消息 Hey, I've got good news.
我和我的伙伴们讨论过了 I talked it over with my posse
大家都同意你加入我们一伙儿 And we're all cool with you joining our crew.
我说的伙伴们其实只有我 And by "my posse," I mean, "me."
一伙儿也是指我自己 And by "crew," I mean, well, "me" again.
事实上 我就像个社交浮萍 Truth is, I'm kind of a "Social floater"
漂浮于各个朋友团体之间 And right now I'm floating between friend groups,
因为 有时候 Because, sometimes,
大家都不喜欢我这张唠叨的嘴 people have trouble with my tendency to talk excessively
但其实也没人会真正听我说话 while no one's really listening.
所以 So maybe...
你愿意跟我做朋友吗 Do you want to be friends?
我和我的伙伴们先讨论一下 Hmm, let me talk it over with my posse.
他们同意了 我愿意 Yup, they're cool. I'm in.
起立 Stand!
简单说吧 This is very simple.
舞蹈队人已经满了 Varsity squad is full!
不接收新的舞者了 No new dancers are needed.
你们这些整天只知道讲数学的人是进不来的 That's zero for all you fools that speak math.
但是如果你们能展现出我们所需要的特质 But if you exhibit the traits we care about--
生命力 自由 和对快乐的追求 Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness--
完美 Perfection!
纪律 服从 Discipline. Obedience.
对 就是这些 Right, those.
如果你们能展现出这样的特质以及各种优秀的特质 If you exhibit these traits and are all kinds of awesome...
很多种 Many, many kinds.
那么也许还能有你的位置 Then maybe we have a place for you,
但是你们必须达到一个新的水平 But you have to be next level.
你们要让我们觉得惊艳 You have to wow us.
你们得有这种感觉 You have to be...
嘭 Boom.
是的 嘭 Totally. Boom!
闭嘴 No.
你不准说这个词 You don't say "Boom."
只有我才可以说 Only I say "Boom."
用你自己的词 Get your own thing.
知道了 对不起 Will do, sorry.
站好队 Line up!
不好意思 Excuse me, uh,
能和你简单说两句吗 Could I have a quick word?
你好 我叫佐伊 Hi. My name's Zoey.
我去年在学校是跳独舞的 I was a dance soloist at my school last year.
然后呢 So?
呃 我在想 Well, I was just wondering...
事实上我已经为今天的选拔做好准备了 I actually have a routine that I prepared for today.
是我本来打算参加全州比赛中的一段 It's a piece that I was going to take to state.
所以 你看你能让我试跳一段吗 So, do you think that I could actually, like, audition with it,
就我自己 On my own?
我天 Oh, my goodness.
恕我刚才无礼 Where are my manners?
当然可以 Of course!
等我把种子选手全部淘汰掉 Let me just clear all these other hopefuls out of here,
然后再给你表现的机会 Give you some space.
- 真的吗 - 不 - Really? - No.
不是吧 Oh, no, no, no, no...
咋了 What?
我的鞋子被面糊盖住了 My shoes are covered in pancake mix.
惨不忍睹 This is a total disaster.
往我这儿看 Eyes on me!
对不起 我得去 I'm sorry. I've got to--
没事的 It's okay.
看好了 我只说一次 Okay, I'm only going to say this once.
脚步交叉 掌换步 扭动 扭动 转圈 Cross step, ball change, snap, twist, twist, circle stop.
向前向后 前推 晃动 晃动 Forward back, push press, jerk, jerk.
看明白了吗 Got it?
很好 Good.
没问题 No problem.
五六七八 Five, six, seven, eight!
她就是我看见和杰克森调情的那个女孩 That's the girl I saw flirting with Jackson.
你的前男友吗 Your ex-boyfriend?
现在也是 My boyfriend.
我们只是处于过渡期 懂吗 We're just in a transitional period, okay?
她在干嘛呀 What's she doing?
跳她自己的那套 Her own routine.
哇 我觉得她蛮 Wow, you know, she's actually kind of--
闭嘴 Zip it!
对不起 Sorry.
自作自受 Of course.
好惨 Oops.
好了 All right!
就这样了 That's it.
你们全部不合格 You're all officially rejected.
走吧 不要再和我说话了 Get out and don't ever talk to me again.
嘭 Boom.
不不不 等等 No, no, no, wait, wait, wait!
我的兄弟们 My brothers were--
是我的继兄弟们 They're my step-brothers--
他们毁了我的鞋子 They ruined my shoes, and...
今天是我最糟糕的一天 I'm just having the worst day possible.
求求你了 Okay, I'm begging you.
跳舞对我来说意味着一切 Dance is everything to me.
还有别的办法能让我加入吗 Isn't there some way that I can be on the team?
有啊 Sure.
真的吗 谢谢你 Really? Thank you.
那就太好了 That would be amazing.
你们可以加入后备队 You can be on the jv team.
还有你 And, yeah, you can, too.
就是他们 There they are,
在那边 Over there.
那就是你们的队伍了 That's the squad you belong on.
狗狗出来 Out, boy.
真恶心 Oh... gross.
轮到我了 My turn.
哦 对了 Oh, by the way,
汉弗莱之前去过你的房间 Humphrey was in your room earlier.
好像帮你弄开行李来着 I think he was helping you unpack.
这下好了 Great.
恶心死了 Oh, gross!
汉弗莱 一边去 Ugh, Humphrey, get off.
坐下 Sit down.
我还就不相信了 You know, I bet at the very least,
我还治不了你 I can deal with you.
应该会有这类的软件吧 There's gotta be an app for this.
找到了 Here we go.
听话与服从 "Listen and obey"
发出你的指令 "Plays a sound
然后就可以转换成狗狗的语言 "That makes your commands irresistible to dogs."
等下 要9块9毛9 Wait, $9.99?
最好管用 It'd better be good.
好了 All right.
坐下 Sit.
握手 Shake?
哇 真的好使啊 太棒了 Wow, it actually works. This is amazing.
乖狗狗 汉弗莱 Good boy, humphrey.
停下 回来 Stop! Come back!
我的一切都在这个手机里 That phone is my life!
那里面有我的通讯录 我的照片 It's got my contacts, my pictures,
我的音乐收藏 My music collection!
一共有5200首歌呢 All 5,200 songs!
不要啊 停下来 No, stop!
不 No!
别担心 Don't worry!
我能给你修好 I can fix this!
你这是在干什么 What are you doing?
离心力啊 Centrifugal force.
我刚学会的 I just learned about it.
它会通过力把水 It'll force the water--
我的手机 My phone!
对不起 Sorry.
掉哪儿去了 Where is it?
好了 呃 Okay, um...
我刚刚上网看了看 I went online
他们说把手机放到大米里面 And they say to put the phone in rice
可以把里面的水吸走 to suck out the water.
妈 我坚持不下去了 Mom, I can't do it anymore.
我只希望这些闯入我生活的男孩儿们 I just need the boys in my life to stop...
别再破坏我的生活了 ruining my life.
其实 只是我们还没有跟他们磨合到位 Well, we're a little out of practice with them,
但最终我们会解决问题的 But we'll figure it out,
我们总能解决问题 Just like we always do.
嘿 一会儿我们打算带汉弗莱去慢跑 The family's taking Humphrey for a run.
不如你跟我们一起去吧 How about you come with us?
我怎么可能会想和 Why would I possibly want to go on a run
那堆疯子一起去跑步 with that pack of maniacs?
如果你改变主意了 If you change your mind,
可以去公园找我们 we'll be in the park.
起床 起床 起床 Go-go-go!
崭新的一天开始啦 It's a brand-new day!
赶紧起床 赶紧起床 Up and at 'em! Up and at 'em!
太棒了 哈哈 Yeah! Ha ha
小伙子们 崭新的一天开始啦 It's a brand-new day, boys,
赶紧起床 赶紧起床 Up and at 'em! Up and at 'em!
所有应用都在 Apps all there,
看起来还都能用 Everything seems to be working...
很好 Okay.
最起码我生活里还有一件东西没有被毁掉 One thing in my life that isn't completely destroyed.
也许今天会比昨天好过些 Maybe today will be a better day.
你说腋下会长足癣吗 Can you get athlete's foot in your armpit?
或者说是 腋癣 "Athlete's pit?"
看来还是一样 Or not.
借过 借过 Gangway, gangway.
我来啦 Coming through!
看样子你忘了点事儿 汉弗莱 You forget one little thing, Humphrey.
我现在可是抓着你的弱点呢 I now own your little canine behind.
坐下 Sit!
怎么回事 What?
快啊 Come on.
坐下 Sit!
躺下 Lie down!
摇晃 Shake!
什么啊 这就不能用了啊 Really? This?
唯独这个不能用了 This is the one thing that stops working?
耍个杂技 Do a trick.
真无语 这九块九毛九算是废了 Great, $9.99 down the drain.
斯坦科维奇先生家的洒水器又坏了 Mr. Stankovich's sprinklers broke again!
泥巴足足有三英尺那么深 The mud is like three feet deep out there!
这真是我有史以来最糟糕的一天了 This is the greatest day of my life!
好吧 别靠过来 Okay. Back up.
美味 Mm, mm, yummy!
谁想尝尝我的新作 Who wants to sample my latest creation?
我管它叫 邋遢玉米片罗宋三明治 I call it the "Sloppy nacho-borscht-wich."
呃 把它放下 Ugh, just put that down!
再捡起来 Pick it up?
蕾切尔 我觉得我今天早上有点奇怪 Rachel, I'm having kind of a strange morning--
男孩儿们表现的十分诡异 Boys are acting weird.
那有什么不同的呢 This is unusual why?
和他们以往的怪不一样 Okay, not weird in their usual way.
臭屁炸弹 Fart bomb!
你怎么回事啊 这样很不好 Are you serious? That is atrocious.
特里普才不知道这个词啥意思呢 Tripp has no idea what that word means,
但如果是再来一次的话 那可以再来一次 But if it means, "Do it again," You're in luck!
不要 你停下来就好 No, just stop.
哇 他竟然 Wow, he just...
遵从你的话了 Obeyed you.
服从 Obeyed...
呃 说话 Uh... speak.
你们被特里普耍到了 You've been whipped by the Tripp!
闭上嘴 Shut your mouth
张开嘴 Open your mouth.
这 这真是太奇怪了 Wait, this is really weird.
特里普这回栽了 The Tripp is... Trippin'.
特里普现在吓坏了 The Tripp is freaking out right now.
去厕所吧 Go to the bathroom.
哦 不 Oh, wait, no!
厕所不在这儿 Not here!
哦 不 不 Oh, no, no...
你的手机出什么毛病了 What is with your phone?
是有毛病 就是今天早上突然开始的 I know, this is what was happening this morning!
无论我说什么 男孩儿们都服从了 Everything I said, the boys did.
然后特里普也 And then Tripp...
这 这真是太奇怪了 This is-- this is really odd.
奇怪 "Odd?"
你可是有了一个能控制男生的软件啊 You have an app that controls boys!
这可不是什么奇怪的事 This is not "Odd!"
这可是人类有史以来 This is the most amazing thing
出现过的最神奇的事情了 that has ever occurred in human history!
你们这俩呆子把厕所污染得忒脏了 This bathroom has been tainted with dork.
这可忒不好了 And that 'taint good.
懂了吗 忒不好 Get it? "Taint?"
好孩子 坐下 Down, girl.
跳起来 Jump!
摇一摇 Shake!
打个滚 Roll over!
你怎么给我下狗的命令 Why are you giving me dog commands?
她正打算试试 She was just trying
去做 To do...
这个 This...
新的 New...
-舞蹈 -对 舞蹈 - Dance! - Dance!
这是个新的舞蹈 叫做 It's a new dance. It's called the, um...
叫做 The... the...
-漫游者 -漫游者 - "Rover." - Rover!
也就是 It's where you...
蹲下来 You get down...
跳起来 You jump...
摇晃一下 You shake,
然后划一下 Then you roll.
跳 摇 划 Jump, shake, roll...
跳 摇 Jump, shake...
懂了吧 You get the idea.
表面上我不喜欢大笑 I don't like to laugh out loud,
因为我觉得那个软弱的标志 Because I believe it's a sign of weakness,
但是实际上 But just so you know,
现在在我的内心里 我在笑 In my head, I am laughing right now.
而且是开怀大笑 I am laughing so hard,
在我的脑袋里我正在呕吐 I am literally throwing up in my own brain.
很用力地吐 Total brain hurl.
嘭 Boom.
好了 咱们走吧 Okay, let's jet.
但是我有点想 But I kind of have to--
憋着 Hold it.
我觉得你这个软件对女孩儿没用 I guess your dog app doesn't work on girls.
可能女孩儿没那么像狗吧 Maybe cause girls aren't dog-like enough.
她们太 They're too...
像猫了 Catty.
但是这个软件在男孩身上绝对好使 But the app definitely works on boys...
滑板小子们 停下来 Skaters, stop!
好棒 Okay, um, um...
再做点别的 做点别的 Do something else, do something else.
变得绅士一点 Act like gentlemen.
女士 小心水坑 Madam, mind the puddle.
谢谢 Thank you.
你们这些游戏宅的话呢 You video game dudes...
去做点其他对你们 Start doing something good
身心健康有意义的事儿吧 for your spiritual and physical well-being.
伙计们 Dudes...
咱们去做瑜伽吧 Let's go do some yoga.
有礼了 Namaste.
梳洗一下自己 Groom yourselves.
我们的头发这是怎么了 What's with our hair?
为什么我们闻起来 Why do we smell...
这么恶心 Like we smell?
我要去设计个发型 还要除臭剂 I need a hair stylist, and deodorant.
还要一个剪指甲刀 And a nail clipper with one of those...
把衣服穿上 Put shirts on!
我怎么突然觉得跟你们一起 I'm suddenly a little uncomfortable
不穿衣服好难受啊 being undressed with you guys.
不要啊 你为什么这么做啊 No, why would you do that?
他们这样看起来好棒 They were perfect the way they were.
好吧 Okay, uh...
再把你们的上衣脱了吧 Take off your shirts again.
哥们儿们 Dude...
看看我的肌肉 Look at my cannons!
嘿你看 这是昨天走廊里的那个人吧 Hey, isn't that the guy from the hall yesterday?
是啊 查理·汪 Yeah, uh, Charlie Wang.
我喜欢他 I like him.
但是他有点自闭 所以 But he's a little emotionally closed off, So...
查理你好 Hey, Charlie,
放开点 然后跟蕾切尔谈谈你对她的感觉吧 Be more open and expressive about your feelings to rachel.
蕾切尔 Rachel,
我真想跟你说说我的想法 I really want to tell you how I'm feeling.
好的 跟我说说吧 Please, tell me more.
你 新来的恐怖女孩儿 离我远点 Hey, whoa, stay away from me, you freaky new girl.
从现在起 表现得友好些 Be nice from now on.
你是个很好的人 You're a wonderful person.
如果需要我专家特里普 If there's anything the Trippmeister can do
来帮你更快地熟悉学校 to help make your transition to our school easier,
请不要犹豫 直接打电话 发短信 Don't hesitate to contact the Tripp
或者发邮件来联系我 via phone, text, or email.
再会啦 Toodles.
我刚才这是怎么了 What the heck was up with that?
再会啦 "Toodles?"
嘿 佐伊 Zoey, hey!
你上美国历史课对吧 You're in U.S. History, right?
你拿到那篇阅读材料了吗 Did you get the reading on--
哇 我的战术板 Hey, my playbook!
我找了它好久 I've been looking all over for this!
这个赛季 This season, wow,
我们有很多新战术啊 We have so many new plays.
我刚刚在做什么来着 Where was I?
对 我在健身 Right, burpees!
等等 我把我校服的那个洞补好了吗 Wait, did I remember to fix that hole in my uniform?
我想补好了吧 I think so...
不然的话太尴尬了 Because that would be awkward.
注意力集中点 Be focused!
这个灯罩 This lampshade.
太有趣了 It's so interesting.
看看它的材质 这是丝绸还是亚麻的 Look at that cloth, is that silk or linen?
我要花几个小时好好研究研究它 I could study this for hours.
你想吃点美味的 果冻腌菜玉米薄饼焦糖圣代吗 Would you like some delicious jelly-pickle-taco-caramel sundae?
以后别做这么恶心的食物了 Start making less-gross food.
这是什么恶心的物质啊 What is this vile substance?
我要赶紧去厨房 To the kitchen!
我得找到点有机蔬菜 I must find some organic vegetables!
好啦 球迷们 All right, sports fans!
谁想来看 Who wants to watch some--
安静点 Be quieter.
橄榄球比赛啊 Football.
橄榄 Foot.
球 Ball.
橄榄球 Football.
你觉得46盎司的冰沙 You would have thought a 46-ounce slushie
能不能一次被马桶冲下去呢 could have been flushed down the toilet.
把这里弄干净 Be clean.
我的老天 这里真恶心 Holy moly, it's filthy in here.
速度 Quick!
我需要一块海绵 I need a sponge.
香皂 And soap.
厕纸 And paper towels.
还有洁厕灵 And a power washer.
最后还要 And...
一把凿子 A chisel!
别挡道儿 汉弗莱 我要搞个大扫除 Out of the way, humphrey. I've got major cleaning to do.
多好的一天啊 是吧汉弗莱 What a day, hey, Humphrey?
我并不觉得用神奇的软件控制男孩儿们有多道德 I'm not saying controlling boys with a magic app is completely ethical,
但是最起码 房子清静了 But, I mean, the house is clean,
男孩儿们的行为举止更好了 Boys are behaving better,
情况没有以前那么糟糕了 Things aren't nearly as terrible as they were.
然后 我竟然和一条狗在说话 Then again, I'm talking to a dog,
看来我是有点精神不正常了吧 So I might just be losing my mind.
嘿 智能手机小姐 Hey, smartphone.
没想到在这儿见到你了 Fancy seeing you here.
你好 Uh, hi.
嗨 你好 Oh, hello.
你的狗叫什么名字啊 What's his name?
汉弗莱 Humphrey.
抱歉 之前以为你不是那种喜欢狗狗的女孩 I'm sorry, I didn't peg you for a dog girl.
其实 我也不觉得我是个喜欢狗的女孩 Well, actually, I wouldn't have pegged myself as a dog girl,
不过狗得出来遛 But, um, he needed a walk,
而且我遛他的时候才发现有他陪着也挺好 And he's actually surprisingly good company.
那个 So...
你也来这儿啊 Here you are.
叛逆小子 The rebel,
居然自己在公园看书 Reading alone in the park.
不行吗 Come on.
这儿这么漂亮 Tell me this isn't the most beautiful place
最适合静下心来整理思绪 to sit and collect your thoughts.
的确 Yes, it is...
你看的什么书 So, what are you reading?
等等 让我猜猜 Oh, no, let me guess.
《酷哥宝典——做室内墨镜男》 Um, "The cool guy's guide to wearing sunglasses inside."
接近了 Close.
《杀死一只知更鸟》 "To Kill a Mockingbird."
那本书 That's, uh...
其实是我的最爱 That's actually my favorite book.
当然了 Oh, of course.
一位少女以为她已经把整个世界都弄明白了 A young girl thinks she has her whole world figured out,
最后却发现自己想错了 Only to realize she had it all wrong.
真是永不过时的好故事 It's a timeless tale.
我的理解是 Well, in my interpretation,
少女没有改变自己的人生观 The young girl keeps her humanity and perspective
是她周围的世界发生了天翻地覆的改变 while the world around her goes crazy.
你说的也有道理 And there's that, too.
呃 Well, um...
我该带他回家了 I should probably get him home now.
回见 I'll see you around.
对了 我叫佐伊 I'm Zoey, by the way.
我是杰克森 I'm Jackson.
祝你晚上过得愉快 手机小姐 Have a nice evening, smartphone.
走吧 Come on, boy.
乖 Good boy.
喂 我在拖地呢 Hello, I'm mopping here.
来点开胃小吃吗 Hors d'oeuvres?
全是本地的天然产品 All natural, all locally sourced.
谢谢 Thank you...
有意大利火腿哦 Prosciutto.
嗨 亲爱的 Hello, darling.
还有橄榄 Kalamata.
欢迎回家 Welcome home.
尝尝香肠吧 Try the capicollo.
怎么回事 What the...?
起床 Wake up.
快起床 Come on.
没用 Nothing.
我没威信了 I got nothing.
这是今天早餐的菜单 This morning's breakfast menu.
佛罗伦萨野生鲑鱼 Wild salmon florentine
加生态土鸡蛋 on a bed of sustainably harvested hen eggs,
配上苹果猕猴桃沙拉 Served with a vine-ripened apple-kiwi salad.
很好 Ah, delightful.
谢谢 Thank you.
吃块薄荷糖吧 Would you care for a mint?
谢谢 Thank you.
祝您梳妆愉快 For your grooming pleasure.
我来吧 Allow me.
我不去那儿 Oh, I'm actually not going in there.
有礼了 Namaste.
你也有礼了 Uh, namaste... back 'atcha.
请进 Entrez-vous.
我也不去那儿 I'm not going in there either.
您先请 After you.
我还是在外面呆着吧 Nope, I'm just going to stay out here.
不过还是谢谢你 But thank you.
怎么样 Hey, how's it going?
棒极了 Amazing.
查理已经完全敞开心扉了 Charlie's really opening up about his feelings.
彻底放开了 All of them.
真舒服 Ooh, that's nice.
他开始通过拥抱来表达他的感情了 He's started expressing his feelings by hugging me.
经常抱 A lot.
不撒手 I mean, a lot.
好啦 Okay...
谢谢 Thank you.
那拜拜 Okay. Bye.
不论如何 能和他在一起太棒了 But overall, it's basically awesome.
总体上来说真的很棒 I mean, it's relatively overall awesome.
看那边 Over there?
更棒了 That's awesome.
他们是之前的那几个臭蛋吗 Are those the smelly boys?
兄弟 这样是疼 Okay, I know this hurts, bro.
可你不能这么跑到外面吓人去 But you can't go out in public like this.
你脑门上那一簇毛太茂盛了 You look like someone glued a beaver to your forehead.
-我脑门上有吗 -没 -do I? -no.
-确定 -确定 - I'm not... - You're fine.
-好吧 真的吗 -真的 - Cool. You're sure? - Yes.
这个软件 This app...
太无敌了 is a whole new world.
这样下去 再也不会有国际冲突 No more global conflict.
不会有人忘盖上马桶盖 不会输辩论赛 No more toilet seat up, down debates.
总之只要是和男孩有关的问题 Basically, any problems caused by boys,
也就代表大多数问题 Which is most problems,
都能解决 can be solved.
练舞时间见 See you at dance practice.
拜拜 Okay, see you.
又来了 There you are.
五 六 七 八 Five, six, seven, eight!
作为西湖中学后备舞蹈队的队长 Uh, as captain of the Westlake High junior varsity dance squad,
我宣布本学期第一场 I'd like to officially call to order
排练正式开始 the first practice of the season.
我要处理的第一件事 And as my first order of business,
有谁愿意做新队长吗 I'd like to see if anyone else wants to be captain.
没人自荐 Any volunteers?
拜托 Come on.
我真的受不了这个压力 You know I can't handle the pressure.
我又开始紧张得眼睛抽搐了 I'm already starting to get the weird eye twitch thing again.
我推荐佐伊·史蒂文斯 I nominate Zoey Stevens!
什么 Wait, what?
你是全队最棒的舞者 You're the best dancer in the squad.
可能是全校最棒的 Maybe the best dancer in school.
大家同意吗 All in favor?
真的 Really?
求你了 Please.
好吧 Okay, fine.
队友们 Team...
即使咱们只是后备队的 Okay, look, just because we are junior varsity
也不代表校队就比咱们强 does not mean that we are any worse than varsity.
可不正是因为我们很差才只能进后备队吗 Technically, I think that's exactly what junior varsity means.
这个 Okay, um...
咱们都通过了选拔 所以还是有一定潜力的 We all auditioned, at least we made it this far.
其实不用参加选拔也能进后备队 You actually don't have to audition for J.V.
至少咱们都爱跳舞 Well, at least we all love to dance.
有项爱好也不错对吧 That's something, right?
我是专门来结识女生的 I'm just here to meet girls.
怎么 Yes?
我一直在学跳哈卡舞 I've been studying the haka,
毛利族的传统战舞 The traditional dance of the maori peoples.
我可不可以 I was thinking,
把几个动作加进咱们的舞蹈里 Perhaps we can incorporate some of it into our routine?
嗯 咱们当然可以把这个想法作为备选 Yean, no, let's definitely put that one in the idea box.
但是仅此而已 We're just going to keep it there.
扭动臀部 伸臂 换挡 Dig it up, drive, shift,
扭一扭 Lean with it,
翻翻页 Flip the page,
下蹲 And scoop,
展开双臂再合上 Out, close,
低头 And check your shoes...
会了吗 You guys got it?
会了 Yup.
不会 No.
五 六 七 八 Five, six, seven, eight.
伙计们 跳得不错 Looking good, guys.
非常好 Fantastic.
烂爆了 Not good. Not good at all.
从头来 各位 From the top, guys.
如果你能给这支舞一个机会 Listen, I just think if you gave this a chance,
你一定不会后悔的 You'd really like it.
好的 好的 备选 还记得吗 All right, all right, idea box, remember?
对不起 真的不行 Okay, we're not gonna do that.
好的 各位 咱们继续吧 All right, guys, let's get back to work.
跟着我跳 Follow my lead.
他们怎么突然 How did they suddenly become...
不烂了 Not terrible?
骑马动作 挥手 换脚 Rodeo, swipe, switch...
她拿着手机干吗 And what is she doing with her phone?
就是 还跟它说话 Yeah, she's just, like, talking into it
好像它是个 Like it's a...
电话 Phone.
等等 Hold it.
咱们跳得真好 We're good.
简直跟 We're, like...
他们跳的一样好 As good as they are.
我没听错吧 So, let me get this straight.
你认为后备队比校舞蹈队还要棒 You think the J.V. squad is actually better than the varsity squad?
而且我们应该有 And that we should get a shot
成为校队的机会 at being the school's main dance team,
这样才能代表学校参加全州比赛 The one that represents our school at state.
我有点晕 I'm confused.
为什么后备队更好 Why is the J.V. Squad better?
你们没像其它运动队一样 Why didn't you just dump
把不太会跳舞的孩子 all the, you know, dance-challenged kids on J.V.,
扔进后备队吗 like other sports do?
我们就是那么干的 That's exactly what we did.
我觉得在选拔过程中 Look, I believe there may have been some...
存在一些制度性偏见 institutional bias in the team selection process.
跟我没关系 Not me.
我只想提议办个比赛 可以吗 Look, I'm just proposing a dance-off, okay?
公平竞争 看看到底哪队最棒 A fair contest to see who's really the best.
我跟你们说过了 Hey, I told you boys,
不许在走廊点蜡烛 No candles in the hall!
容易发生火灾 It's a fire hazard!
也不许烧香 And no incense either!
不想周六来留校察看 You get those out of here,
就快把它们处理了 or you'll be downward dogging in saturday detention!
比赛听起来不错 A dance-off sounds fair enough.
什么 What!
不是 No, okay.
这想法太荒唐了 This is ludicrous.
校委正好发愁本赛季第一场篮球赛 The spirit committee is looking for a halftime act
中场休息时要搞什么节目 for the first basketball game of the season.
比赛就可以那时候举行 We could do it then.
我们还可以买个能记录观众喝彩声分贝的机器 We can get one of those applause meters that measures crowd noise.
我一直想用一用那玩意儿 I've always wanted to use one of those.
那太好了 Yay! Sounds perfect.
什么 What?
一点都不好 No, it doesn't!
就这么定了 It's settled.
舞蹈对决 Dance-off.
祝最棒的队伍胜出 May the best squad win.
我们赢定了 Oh, we will.
你和那帮突然开窍的后备队呆瓜们 You and your little pack of suddenly highly-skilled J.V. mutant dance dorks...
是输定了 are going down.
嘿 Hey...
我刚好在找你 Just the person I was looking for.
嗨 你 Hi. You were...
你在找我 You were looking for me?
抱歉 不是 Oh, sorry, no.
我在找她 Not you, her.
嘿 Hey.
这世界到底怎么了 What is happening to the universe?
后备队会跳舞了 The J.V. Squad doesn't stink.
新来的女生抢了我男朋友 The new girl is stealing my boyfriend.
一切都黑白颠倒了 Everything is upside down.
还有王法没有 It's like... Australia!
“男朋友” "Boyfriend?"
你俩是一对吗 Uh... are you two dating?
不不 Oh, no, no, no.
之前是 I mean, we were.
我们约会过 可是 We used to be, but it's, uh...
早已经结束了 Very over.
不过我还不确定泰勒是否接受了这个事实 Although I'm not sure Taylor's quite come to terms with that fact.
呃 我想说个事 Uh, there's something I wanted to say--
我在想 你或许 I was wondering if maybe you, uh...
愿意一起出去转转 You wanted to hang out sometime.
呃 转转 Um... hang out?
就是 如果你想去的话 You know, like, if you wanted to.
我的意思是 这也不是什么大事 I mean, it's no big deal.
我们可以就 呃 We could just, uh...
放松一下 Do something chill.
我今晚会在加油站餐厅 I'm gonna be at the pitstop diner tonight
如果你有空的话 If you're free.
我可以接你 I could pick you up.
哦 不用了 Oh, no.
我是说 当然了 I mean, sure.
但是 不用 因为 But, no, 'cause...
呃 我会去那儿找你的 Um, I'll just meet you there.
所以我们可以出去转转 So we can hang out...
放松一下 And do something chill.
就这样 Okay.
杰克森·凯尔 Jackson Kale!
他约你出去 He asked you out?!
不好意思 Sorry.
他约你出去 He asked you out?
好吧 我也不确定 Well, I'm not really sure.
确切地说的是“转转” Um, his exact words were "Hang out."
这算约会吗 Is that a date?
都有可能 Could go either way.
打进来 队员们 打进来 Bring it in, guys, bring it in.
保持专注 孩子们 Stay sharp, boys.
传起来 Mix it up.
哥们儿们 你们注意过这个篮网吗 Guys, have you seen this net?
它有那么多的结 There's so many knots.
如此复杂精细 It's so intricate.
保持专注 队员们 Stay sharp, guys.
跑起来 Mix it up.
挡拆 Pick and roll.
暂停 暂停 Timeout, timeout.
对不起 教练 你说什么 Sorry, coach? What?
做这个 Do that.
球给你 小对手 Here you go, little competitor.
特里普希望你拿球 The Tripp wants you to have that.
但是 But...
他是在 He's on the...
我是你的对手 I'm playing against you.
特里普知道这一点 但还是想让你拿球 The Tripp realizes that, but still wants you to have it.
特里普 Tripp...
你怎么了 What is wrong with you?
也许是崩溃了 Maybe it's some kind of breakdown.
也许是压力太大 Maybe from stress.
特里普很担心自己 The Tripp is worried about himself.
好好享受 You enjoy that.
我的球队怎么了 What is happening to my team?
加油 小伙子们 打起精神来 Come on, guys, get it together.
那个 So...
你知道在电影里 当人们有了魔力时 You know how in the movies, when people get magic powers,
最后一切都会以错误收场 And it all ends up going wrong?
比如你最终变成了一个狼人 Like you end up turning into a werewolf,
或者回到过去旅行 Or traveling back in time,
阻止你爸爸遇见你妈妈 And stopping your dad from meeting your mom,
然后意外地抹去了自己的存在 And accidentally erasing yourself from existence?
你觉得这这类事情有可能会发生在我们身上吗 Do you think that maybe could happen to us?
不 不会的 No. No...
我是说 我们只是给我们的世界 I mean, we just made a few little...
带来了 一点点改善而已 improvements... to our world.
是的 Yeah.
一切都在我们的控制之下 It's completely under control.
干得好 Good job!
传得漂亮 干得好 Nice pass. Good job.
而且 在那些电影里 Besides, in those movies,
那些最终把一切都搞砸的人是谁啊 Who were the main characters who messed everything up?
男生们 Boys.
正是如此 Exactly.
好吧 我要说一件事 Well, I will say one thing.
自从你来到学校以后 My life has definitely pivoted to the more excellent
我的生活毫无疑问发生了积极的转变 since you came to the school.
不好意思 哥们儿 将死 Ah, sorry, man, checkmate.
什么 不 What? No!
嗨 Hey.
你看起来很漂亮 You look great.
谢谢 Oh, thanks.
不好意思 我没想打断你们 Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt.
没事的 没什么 No, no, it's all good,
我只是在你来之前打发时间而已 I was just killing time till you showed up.
坐吧 Do you want to sit?
象棋俱乐部不在学校而是在这儿活动 The club meets here, instead of on campus.
防止那些犯二的运动员们把棋子插进鼻孔里 less likelihood of meathead jocks sticking pawns up their noses.
怎么了 What?
你看起来很吃惊 You look surprised.
没有 只是 No, it's just
我以为你应该属于 That I probably would have put you in the...
在公园里独自读书的俱乐部 in the reading alone in the park club,
只有你一个会员 with a membership of exactly one.
好吧 我喜欢象棋俱乐部 Yeah, well, I like the chess club.
他们都是好小伙 They're good dudes.
跟他们在一起就像在家里一样 你知道吗 I feel at home with them, you know?
也很有趣 It's also fun,
因为我基本上可以战胜他们每一个人 Because I can pretty much deliver a chess beatdown on any one of them.
为什么所有的男生都这样 一切都是运动 Why do all boys do that? Everything is a sport.
就好像不假装相互竞争 It's like you have to pretend to be competitive with each other
就没资格称兄道弟一样 as an excuse to enjoy each other's company.
哦 不像女生 Oh, unlike girls,
她们装做很享受相互陪伴的时光 Who pretend to enjoy each other's company
以此作为相互竞争的借口 as an excuse to be competitive with each other?
什么 不 那只是 What? No, that is...
什么 What?
那完全是 That's completely...
哦 拜托 Oh, come on,
你就这点能耐 Is that all you got?
我让你哑口无言了吗 Did I just render you speechless?
好吧 我曾经也说不出话来过 Okay, I have been speechless before. Once.
九年级的时候 In ninth grade.
当时我把智齿拔了 When I had my wisdom teeth pulled
一张嘴就特别疼 And it physically hurt to open my mouth.
那么 So...
点些什么呢 What to order?
不想点那些乱糟糟的东西 Don't want something too messy,
所以假日沙拉就免了吧 So the fiesta salad is probably out...
你懂吧 第一次约会要面对的难题 You know, the first date conundrum.
当然不算是正式的约会 Not that this is a date, officially.
我们只是出来转转 It's just us hanging out.
下完棋之后 Apres-chess.
可有可无的约会似的见面 Kind of a date-optional... sort of deal...
哇哦 煎蛋卷看起来不错 Wow, the omelette looks good.
可以配上薯条 Maybe with fries.
没有那么乱糟糟 It's not too messy.
我马上就回来 I will be right back.
好的 Okay.
嗨 佐伊 约会怎么样了 Hey, Zoey, how's your date going?
被我弄得一团糟 I'm a mess out there.
约会这种事儿我没什么经验 I haven't really been on very many dates,
我完全不知道自己在做什么 And I have no idea what I'm doing.
而且我穿得太隆重了 And I'm really over-dressed.
我也没什么主意 I have no idea either.
我从没约过会 I've never been on a date before.
昨天才有男生第一次跟我说话 Boys just started talking to me for the first time yesterday.
我不知道该怎么让一个男生喜欢你 I don't know how to get a boy to like you.
男生到底喜欢什么呀 What do boys even like?
竞争 Competition.
没错 他们的确喜欢这个 Yeah, they do like that.
我要回去了 I gotta go.
嗨 Hey.
呃 Uh...
跟我调情 Flirt with me.
不好意思 Sorry about that.
打扰一下 Excuse me.
我不禁注意到你是如此美丽 I couldn't help but notice how beautiful you are.
真的 谢谢 Really? Thank you.
你真是太好了 That is very sweet of you.
你的双眼 Those eyes...
你爸爸是窃贼吗 Was your dad a thief?
因为他一定是窃取了天上的星星 Because he must have stolen the stars
才做了这对精巧的宝石 to make those little gems.
你叫什么名字 What's your name?
我叫佐伊 My name is Zoey.
这是有史以来最美的名字 That is the most beautiful name ever.
佐伊 Zoey...
它就像蜂蜜一样流淌过双唇 It rolls off the lips like... like honey.
你和这位美丽的女士一起的吗 Are you here with this fine lady?
她真是美貌惊人 不是吗 She's magnificent, isn't she?
是的 当然 我是和这位 Yeah, sure, I'm here with this...
美貌惊人的 蜜糖宝石般的女士一起的 Magnificent, honey-like gem...
你知道的 如果他不理解你有多么迷人 You know, if he doesn't understand what a catch you are,
或许你可以和我 Perhaps you and I...
不用了 谢谢 No, thank you.
我觉得我的这位朋友很好 I think my date gets the idea.
哥们儿 是一边眉毛 Guys, it's one eyebrow.
是一边 It's the...
不是两边 Not both.
只是一边 Just the one.
刚才在餐厅发生的事情真是奇怪 That was weird, what happened at the diner.
搞不清楚发生了什么 I have no idea what happened there.
我也不知道 No idea.
男生觉得你很美丽动人也不是你的错 Hey, well, it's not your fault boys find you irresistible.
我到家了 Um, this is me.
哦 对了 Oh, right.
谢谢 Thanks...
你的衣服 For that.
今晚过得很开心 I had a good time tonight.
我也是 手机小姐 I did too, smartphone.
我该走了 I should get going.
到学校再见 I'll see you at school?
嗯 好啊 Uh, yeah.
当然了 Sure.
谢谢 Thank you.
我能问个事儿吗 Can I ask you something?
我会对你全神贯注的 You have my undivided attention.
我是说 真的 I mean, really.
分散我的注意力是不可能的 It's impossible to divide my attention.
假如你和某人出去 Let's say you went out with someone...
哦 你今晚约会了 Oh, you had a date tonight?
呃 我也不确定算不算约会 Uh, I'm not really sure you could call it that.
那个家伙有些 The guy's a little...
让人困惑 Confusing.
是这样 在我有限的经验中 Well, in my limited experiences,
男生如果让人困惑 Boys are confusing
通常是我们自己也不太清楚 usually when we're confused ourselves.
常常是因为女生而困惑 usually by a girl.
好吧 但我有迷惑别人的权利 Okay, but I have a right to be confusing.
新家 新学校 你们所有人 A new house, a new school, all of you guys.
这些都 都很有压力 It's all just, it's very stressful.
我们也不得不适应一个新姐姐 Hey, we've had to adjust to a new sister.
听着 男生女生并没有什么区别 Look, boys are no different from girls.
每天结束的时候 At the end of the day,
我们都会觉得压力很大 we're all stress-cases sometimes.
你 You?
你真的以为我没有烦恼吗 You really think that I don't worry?
我无时无刻不在担心 I worry all the time.
担心得不得了 It's all I do.
我担心的是不能让球队失望 I worry about not disappointing the team,
不能让我爸失望 Not letting down my dad,
担心上不了好大学 Not getting into college.
我是说 球探已经开始观察我了 I mean, scouts are starting to watch me now.
你以为我为什么总是到处跑来跑去 Why do you think I'm always rushing around everywhere?
好吧 现在不再跑来跑去了 Well, not that I'm really rushing around much anymore.
听着 我的重点是 Look, my point is,
这个家伙 This guy?
或许可以试试放松一点 对他别太苛刻 Maybe try and relax and cut him some slack, huh?
男生可能会让你头疼 但我们会懂事的 Boys can be a pain, but we come around.
最终会的 Eventually.
谢谢你 亚当 Thanks, Adam.
晚安 Good night.
嗨 佐伊 Hey, Zoey.
有一个新姐姐是件大事 但是 Having a new sister is a big deal, but...
不全是坏事 It hasn't been all bad.
我就知道你们又回来了 脏东西 I know you're back there, dirt.
臭味相投 凑在一起举办肮脏的派对 Being dirty. Having a little dirt party.
但是我来了 But I'm coming for you.
跟我的小朋友打个招呼吧 Say hello to my little friend,
吸尘器先生 Mr. Vacuum.
嗨 炖菜时间到 Hey, ratatouille time.
小子 你总是在打扫卫生 还让我怎么做菜 Dude, how can I cook when you are always cleaning?
如果你一直在做菜 还让我怎么打扫卫生 How can I clean if you're always cooking?
嗨 佐伊 Hey, Zoey.
我 I...
有个东西要给你 Have something for you.
你把它修好了 You fixed it?
没错 它看起来需要精心修补一番 Yeah, it looked like it needed a little T.L.C.,
所以用了点树脂 几个螺丝 So a little epoxy, some screws,
就修好了 And voila.
小伙子们都帮忙了 The boys all helped out.
亚当把两个粘胶的地方牢牢按着 Adam held that glue joint together
大概 五个小时都没动过 For, like, five hours.
我是说 他可专心了 I mean, he was focused.
效果还好吧 Is it okay?
简直棒极了 It's amazing.
谢谢你 泰德 Thank you, Ted.
乐意之至 A pleasure.
哦 对了 Oh, hey.
你最好睡会儿觉吧 Listen, you'd better get some sleep,
你明天还要参加球赛中场的舞蹈对决呢 'cause you've got that big dance-off at the game tomorrow, so...
也许我真的看错他们了 Maybe I misjudged these guys.
也许他们都挺不错的 Maybe they're okay...
也可能是我命令他们 Or maybe they're just okay
他们才表现得不错 Because I commanded them to be okay.
谁知道呢 汉弗莱 I don't know, Humphrey.
可能明天 我可以用手机再下点指令 Maybe tomorrow, I could use the phone to dial it back, and...
让他们稍微放开一点 Give the guys a slightly longer leash.
我起晚了 I'm late.
牙膏里的原料还真是不少啊 There are so many ingredients in toothpaste.
“水合二氧化硅” "Hydrated silica."
这是什么东西啊 Now, what is that?
水合和普通的二氧化硅有什么区别呢 How is that different from regular silica?
动作快点啊 Just hurry up!
我要抓紧时间了 I gotta move!
小心 佐伊 我得走了 得走了 Watch out, Zoey! I gotta move, gotta move!
小心 Careful!
我刚给楼梯打过蜡 I just waxed the stairs!
我没事 I'm okay!
我好得很 I'm good!
我先走了啊 I gotta run!
嘿 早上好啊 Hey, good morning!
我烤了一些高纤维亚麻籽燕麦面包 I'm baking some high-omega flaxseed oat bread
结果发酵出来比我想象的大了不少 And it expanded more than I thought.
不要啊 我才刚刚把厨房打扫干净 No! I just cleaned this kitchen!
拿起来了 I got you!
都别挡道啊 Out of my way!
我赶时间 I gotta run!
所有事都变得超级不正常了 Things are getting seriously crazy.
打游戏的和那帮臭蛋 The videogamers and the ogres
在为练瑜伽和梳妆打扮抢地盘 are in a yoga-grooming turf war.
把你们的瑜伽毯子都给我拿走 Get your yoga mats out of here,
那可是我们的漂白区 This is our bleaching station!
哦 没错 蕾切尔 Oh, yeah, rachel,
我从没觉得跟你这么亲近过 I feel so close to you right now.
你快帮帮我啊 You've gotta fix this.
呃 好的 Um, okay, uh...
别抱着蕾切尔了 Stop hugging rachel.
好吧 Okay...
借过 Coming through!
谢了 抱歉 Thank you! Sorry!
如果我不相信谨言慎行的道德观 If I didn't believe in mindful benevolence,
我的轮穴就会在我的轮回因果中狂乱不堪 My chakras would be in a serious karmic tizzy right now.
（注：轮穴 瑜伽中指身上的能量中心）
要不是我怕把我的头发弄乱 And if I wasn't worried about messing up my hair,
我早就开一罐面部保湿润肤霜拍到你脸上 I'd open up a serious can of hydrating facial moisturizer on your face!
我要求你们全都停下 I need all of you guys to stop!
呃 不妙 Oh, uh...
这可没好到哪里去啊 Yeah, this might not be better.
对啊 Yeah...
再动起来 Go again.
你感觉到什么了吗 Did you feel that?
当然了 Totally.
都别挡道啊 我要过去了 Outta my way, I gotta run!
噢 亚当 跑慢点 Oh, adam, slow down!
我这是怎么回事啊 What is happening to me?
真是太不对劲了 到底发生了什么啊 This is so not good. What's happening?
简直太让人受不了了 This is completely unacceptable.
二位 来嘛 Guys, come on.
大家抱一抱 Group hug.
哦 顺便说一句 Oh, by the way,
你和队里的那群人聊过了吗 Have you talked to the guys on the squad?
“我们在此正式宣布辞聒” "We hereby officially... resin?"
我跟你说了“辞职”不是那么写的 I told you there was a "G" In "Resign."
等等 你们要退出了 Wait, you guys are quitting?
我觉得跳舞并不适合我啊 I just don't think dance is my jam.
太机械性了 It's too mechanical.
我的艺术细胞都在舞蹈中被摧毁了 My artistic vision has been totally squashed.
这比我想象的要难受多了 This is way more intense than I expected.
说实话 我还不如在常规体育项目里试一试呢 Frankly, I'd rather take my chances in regular P.E.
不行 No!
舞蹈对决就在今天了 你们不能现在退出 The dance-off is today. You guys can't quit.
我拒绝接受你们的辞职申请 I do not accept your resignations.
你们向我保证过的 You made a commitment.
现在都排好队吧 Now, let's line up!
五 六 七 八 Five, six, seven, eight.
再来一遍 Again.
不太对劲了 Something's off.
看起来他们的动作都很正规 It's like their feet are into it,
但是却心不在焉的 But their hearts aren't.
对啊 他们的舞姿真是古怪 Yeah, something's a little funky.
我指的不是像迪斯科舞那样 And I don't mean good-funky,
时髦的古怪 Like disco music.
我指的是糟糕的古怪 就像 I mean bad-funky, like...
发臭的干乳酪一样 Old cream cheese.
这话可说轻了 That's an understatement.
如果我好歹还算你朋友的话 If I were in any way your friend,
我建议你退出算了 I'd suggest you quit now,
不然这群机器僵尸会把你的脸都丢光的 Before these weirdo robot-zombies completely humiliate you,
但我不是你朋友 But since I'm not...
今晚祝你好运啦 Good luck tonight!
她说的对 She's right.
对啊 我同意 Yeah, she is.
各就各位 Positions!
也许我们应该 Maybe we should--
她的气焰还挺嚣张的 She's got us beat.
我可不能让她得逞 And I refuse to accept that.
立刻给我变得左右不分 Completely confuse your left from your right.
你干嘛 Really?
你刚刚是不是 Did you just--
你怎么回事啊 What are you doing!
你们在搞什么啊 What are you doing?
看好 先是往左 然后往右 No, it's left, then right!
不 不 你的右边 No, no, your other right!
先往右 然后往左 Right, then left--
不对 No!
看看现在谁最滑稽呀 Who looks ridiculous now?
至少我的队员都能分清楚左右 At least my squad can tell their left from their right.
他们又不是一帮像疯狗一样 They're not a bunch of freaks bouncing around like...
左右乱跳的怪胎 Well, a pack of dogs,
但是 But...
你也许只配和这种队伍在一起 Maybe that's the squad you belong on.
等等 杰克森 听我说 Okay, Jackson, wait.
对不起了 手机小姐 我要走了 Sorry, smartphone, I gotta go.
刚才发生的一切 只不过是 What happened in there, that was just--
那是你自己的事 好不 That's your business, okay?
我没啥好说的了 I've got nothing to say.
但她活该啊 But she deserved it.
她人品差到极点 你我都清楚得很 She's a terrible person, we both know that.
我非常了解她是什么样的人 I know exactly what kind of person she is.
但我不了解的是你的为人 What I don't know is the kind of person you are.
我是说 平常你看起来挺不错的 I mean, usually, you're pretty chill,
但你刚对他们的所作所为 和泰勒如出一辙 But you just treated them exactly how she does.
那你又好到哪儿去呢 And what about you?
我是说 前一秒你还是个友善的人 I mean, one second, you are nice,
后一秒你就变得铁石心肠 And then you're ice cold.
真的吗 Really?
你真的认为我才是个让人困惑的人吗 You really think I'm the confusing one?
我是这么认为的 Yeah, I do.
万万没想到啊 I find that surprising.
你知道的 我一直都认为我自己 You know, I've always considered myself
是一个坦率又真诚的小伙子 to be a pretty straightforward and honest kind of guy.
那你为什么就不能把话直说呢 Then how come you can't just be honest?
直说什么 About what?
你的感受啊 About how you feel!
老实说 我不知道我是什么感受 Honestly, I don't know how I feel.
那好 Well then,
那就亲我吧 Just kiss me.
这个 That was...
我不 不知道我怎么会亲你 I don't... know why I did that.
刚才 That...
刚才我并没有想亲你的意思 That wasn't the way I wanted that to go.
我很 I'm...
听着 我很对不起 Look, I'm sorry.
对整个事情我都很抱歉 About this whole thing.
你也明白 整件事都很 You know, it's all just...
诡异 Off.
可能我们应该给彼此留下更多的空间 Maybe we should just give each other some space.
先这样吧 For a while.
我建议今天的排练就告一段落吧 Maybe we should end practice for today.
好的 Yeah.
我正式封杀你了 I'm officially over you.
在另行通知前我不会再使用你 I'm turning you off until further notice.
你要干什么 What do you want?
如果不提我希望你再也别 Apart from wishing you'd never shown your face
出现在这所学校里的话 at this school in the first place?
那就没什么 Absolutely nothing.
蕾切尔来了 Rachel's here!
比赛的时候再见 See you at the game!
听好了 我是个傻瓜 Look, I'm an idiot.
我把这事做得太过火了 Okay, I took it all way too far,
现在什么都给我弄得一团糟 And I made a mess out of everything.
我非常抱歉 And I'm so sorry.
我已经为我建立在那个手机应用上的狂妄自大感到后悔了 But now I am over my state of app-crazed megalomania.
一定有办法能把这些指令的影响都取消的 There's gotta be a way to fix these commands.
就像是 把七零八碎的世界拼回原来的样子 You know, put the world back the way it was.
我非常同意 I couldn't agree more.
但我们尝试过反转那些指令了 Except for that little part where we tried to reverse the commands
但结果却是更糟 所以 And it just made them worse, so...
我们要好好想啊 We've gotta think.
一定有办法能彻底解决问题的 There's gotta be some way we can solve this.
噢 不 Oh, no.
怎么了 What?
一所大学的球探要来看亚当的球赛了 A college scout is coming to watch Adam play.
但他现在根本不会打球 Except he can't play.
全怪我 他们今天晚上输定了 They're going to get creamed tonight, thanks to me.
这事儿可就严重了 This is serious.
关乎亚当的未来 This is his whole future!
我们得走了 快走吧 We gotta go, come on.
欢迎 Welcome!
来到新赛季的哈士奇队篮球比赛 To a new season of Huskies basketball.
哈士奇队最近一直在刻苦训练 The Huskies have been struggling with practice
而一所大学的球探则在场边观战 And there's a college scout in the stands,
因此今晚的比赛将会十分精彩 So tonight's game could be a nail-biter.
好了 Okay.
现在我还要说的就是 The only thing I can say is,
享受比赛吧 Have fun tonight.
听好了 他说了要“享受” Okay, he said "Have fun."
享受比赛又不能确保我被这所大学看中 Having fun isn't exactly going to get me into college.
抱歉 各位 让一让 Sorry, ladies, excuse me.
让我过一下 Excuse me.
各位 我有话要跟你们说 Guys, I need to talk to you.
呃 现在吗 Uh... now?
我是说 还有六分钟比赛就要开始了 所以 I mean, we've got a game in six minutes, so...
你们也过来 这是家庭事件 You too. This is a family issue.
家庭 Family?
没错 Yeah.
听你的 队员们 去热身 All right, you guys, go warm up.
他说什么 What did he say?
他说“去热身” He said "Go warm up!"
一帮菜鸟 Amateurs.
什么 What?
我知道这听起来很疯狂 I know it sounds crazy,
但我真的 But I really...
亲爱的 你又在 Baby, it is just like you
为每件事情承担责任了 to try and take responsibility for everything,
但这听起来太不合常理了 But this is just preposterous.
不 妈妈 这是真的 No, mom, it's true.
正因为这个 你才会过度专心 Okay, this is why you've been so overly-focused,
而你才会那么安静 And you've been quiet,
你才那么爱干净 And you've been so clean,
而你又在烹饪各种风味健康食品 And you've been cooking exotic healthy cuisine.
听我说 各位 各位 各位 各位 Okay, guys, guys, guys, guys...
我非常 非常对不起 I am so, so sorry.
我想 我只是 还没准备好融入我的新生活 I guess, I just, I wasn't ready for my new life,
同时我却把问题都归咎于你们 And... I blamed you guys for everything.
问题在于 The point is,
我想让一切恢复正常 但我不知道该怎么做 I want to try to fix things, I just don't know how.
我需要帮助 I need help.
好吧 Okay.
我们可以解决问题的 We can figure this out.
对了 我们再下载一个应用怎么样 Oh! What if we downloaded another app?
就是 可以把一切都安排得井井有条的那种应用 You know, something that makes everything ordered and right.
对呀 那种事务管理软件 Yeah, like one of those organizer apps.
没错 Exactly.
然后我们抓起手机 扔到水里 And then we'll grab the phone, dunk it in water,
让它进水 And then zap it.
然后再给它放进微波炉 And then we'll throw it in the microwave.
教师休息室就有一台 There's one in the teachers' lounge.
然后把它插进狗食里 Then we'll stick it in dog food!
为什么不是人的食物 Shouldn't it be human food?
各位 拜托 很明显 Guys, come on, this is obvious.
我们有一条狗 We own a dog.
我们想不让他做什么事的时候会怎么办 What do we always do to make him stop doing something?
放开他 "Release!"
用释放指令 Use the release command!
对呀 Of course!
释放 没错 Release! Yes!
佐伊 佐伊 Zoey. Zoey!
你怎么可能用一个智能手机应用控制男孩们呢 You are not controlling the boys with a magical smartphone app!
你只是心情不好 You're just upset.
不是 妈妈 No, mom,
这是真的 This is real, okay?
我给你演示一下 看着 I will show you. Watch.
让我把手机拿出来 Let me just get my phone.
手机 手机不见了 It's, um... It's gone.
哦 教练 Uh, coach? Sir?
不好意思打扰您了 Sorry to bother you,
比赛马上要开始了 But the game is starting soon.
好的 Right.
我得试着执教我的队伍 I've gotta try and coach my team.
走吧 Let's go.
你可得把手机找到 You have to find that phone.
它在哪儿呢 Where is it?
这是我记忆力最后一次拿着手机的地方 This is the last place I knew I had it.
跟杰克森的事情变得诡异之后我就来这儿了 After things got weird with Jackson, I came in here,
我洗了洗脸 And I washed my face, and...
当时还有别人在这儿吗 Was anyone else in here?
哦不 Oh, no.
跟普通手机也没什么不同啊 It just looks like a regular phone.
可不一样 It's not.
这就是那个无名小辈获得成功的原因所在 This is why that little nobody is so successful.
这些应用里有一个可以控制男生 One of these apps can control boys, okay?
手机应用简直万能 You know, these apps can do anything.
我有一个能做数学题的 I even have one that does math.
计算器应用吗 The calculator app?
简直神奇 It's magical.
好吧 我正式宣布你不允许再说话了 Okay, I'm officially invoking the rule where you can't talk anymore.
懂吗 好的 Okay? Okay.
她这上面装了几百万个应用 She's got, like, six million apps on this thing.
等等 这是什么 Wait, what is this?
听话与服从 "Listen and obey."
发出你的指令 "Plays a sound
然后就可以转换成狗狗的语言 that makes your commands irresistible to dogs?"
摇摆 Shake.
我是个超级坏女孩 I'm a super bad girl
超级坏女孩 Super, super bad girl
好的 Okay.
他们总是说话圆滑 They always talkin' slick
因为他们都知道我是个超级坏女孩 'cause they know that I'm a super bad girl...
你们都给我 You guys...
跳机器舞 Robot dance.
超级坏女孩 Super bad girl
超级坏女孩 Super, super bad girl...
你们呢 给我跳排舞 And you guys? Kick line.
我是个超级坏女孩 超级坏女孩 I'm a super bad girl super, super bad girl...
特里普不喜欢这样 Tripp does not like this.
哈哈 Well...
比赛前的场面有点奇怪啊 Things just got a little strange here, pre-game.
两队似乎在上演一场 The two teams appear to be starting some sort of
八十年代风格的舞蹈对决 musical theater, '80s funk-robot dance-off.
你们所有人 All of you!
都向我鞠躬 Bow down to me!
这可不妙 Oh, this isn't good.
我们该怎么办 What are we going to do?
简单 Uh, simple.
在泰勒把地球上所有男人全变成 Figure out a way to get the phone from Taylor before she turns
她的奴隶军队 并把整个世界推向永久黑暗之前 the entire male population of planet earth into her personal slave army,
想办法从她手里把手机夺过来 plunging the planet into darkness for all eternity.
我觉得咱们有办法让她停下了 I think I know a way we can get her to stop.
怎么回事儿 What's happening?
这是个疯狂的快闪吗 Is one of those crazy flash mobs?
我喜欢这个软件 I love this app!
佐伊 嗨 Zoey, hi.
你在找失物招领处吗 Are you looking for the lost and found?
泰勒 你得停下了 Taylor, you need to stop.
是吗 I do?
你得相信我一回 懂吗 You need to believe me, okay?
这个软件 什么问题也解决不了 This app, it isn't going to solve anything.
事实是 强迫男生做你想让他们做的事 The truth is, forcing boys to do what you want them to,
并不能让你的生活变得有多好 It doesn't make life any better.
你得让他们做自己 You've just got to let them be themselves
并学着接受他们本来的样子 and learn to accept them anyway.
说的可真好啊 Well, that's a beautiful sentiment.
真的 Really, you know,
你应该去贺卡公司工作 You should go work for a greeting card company.
好吧 我想想 Okay, let me think about that.
不行 Nope!
听着 我才不会停下来呢 Okay, look, I'm not going to stop.
连你都没管住自己 不是吗 I mean, you didn't stop, did you?
你难道真觉得学校里最酷的男生 明明可以搞定 Do you really think it's a coincidence the coolest guy in school,
包括我在内的任何人 却选择了你 是个巧合吗 who could have anyone, even me-- just saying-- would chose her?
不 No!
杰克森 我从来没在你身上用过那个软件 Jackson, I never used the app on you.
除了让你吻我那次 我很抱歉 Except to make you kiss me, and I'm sorry.
你自己把世界搅和得一团糟 And now you just want me to give it up?
现在倒来劝我放弃 After you so totally messed with my world?
也许 Maybe...
我也应该在你的世界里搅和搅和 I should mess with your world a little.
你为什么不像条狗一样绕着球场蹭呢 教练 Why don't you scooch around on the ground like a dog, coach?
还有你 And you...
嚎叫起来 Howl.
还有 还有你 And, uh, and you...
行了 泰勒 停下 Okay, Taylor, stop.
别伤害我的家人 他们什么也没做 Don't hurt my family, they didn't do anything.
请别把手机用在他们身上 Just please don't use the phone on them.
在我身上用吧 Use it on me.
可是它在女孩身上不管用啊 Yeah, but it doesn't work on girls.
你想让我干什么我都照办 I'll do anything you want,
你就说出你的指令吧 Just... say the command.
乞求 Beg.
喘气 Pant!
坐下 Sit!
摇摆 Shake.
打滚 Roll over!
你怎么 How did you...?
我是你弟弟 I'm your brother.
我们在一起 We stick together.
不要 No!
都停下 Okay, stop!
你们把一切都毁了 You're ruining everything!
过来 Get back!
从她身边走开 Get away from her!
怎么没用啊 Why isn't this working?
因为大家都知道 Because everyone knows,
你永远也没办法让一只狗背叛它的伙伴们 you can never make a dog turn against its own pack.
对了 那边的吉祥物 Oh, and by the way, that mascot right there,
里面可不是个男生 That's not a boy.
嘭 Boom.
不 No!
释放 Release!
抱歉 Sorry.
我不太清楚刚才发生了什么 I'm not really sure what just happened...
但我很确定 But I'm pretty sure
明天可能就更说不清了 it's gonna make even less sense tomorrow.
赛前准备时间到 Uh... and the final pre-game seconds have ticked down!
比赛要开始了 It's game time!
我们欢迎运动员们走上赛场 Let's cheer our players onto the court
为哈士奇队开始新一赛季的征程吧 and start another season of Huskies basketball!
不敢相信我们竟然成功了 I can't believe we did it.
好吧 看来我以后会留下这样的高中记忆 So, I think this is how I'm gonna remember high school,
我的生活被一个新来的女生 having my life ruined by the new girl
和她神奇的洗脑手机毁掉 and her magical brainwashing smartphone.
随你吧 Whatever.
随便用 Use it.
赢下舞蹈对决 Win the dance off.
成为学校的女王 Be queen of the school.
让世界上每一个男孩都照你说的办 Have every boy in the world do exactly what you want.
你我都清楚 没了那手机 你什么都不是 We both know you're nothing without that phone.
真的吗 You know something?
那咱们看看吧 Let's find out.
你竟然把它给弄坏了 You really just destroyed it?
这不重要 It doesn't matter.
人生的意义可比手机丰富得多 There's more to life than what's on a phone.
哈士奇队今晚取得了统治性的优势 The Huskies are dominating tonight!
好的 好的 That's it, that's it!
亚当·汤普森再得两分 And another score for Adam Thompson!
我的好儿子 我的好儿子 That's my boy! That's my boy!
让我先把事情弄明白 Let me make sure I've got this straight.
我被一个奇葩的手机应用催眠了 I was completely hypnotized by a crazy app.
我 我很抱歉 I'm-I'm sorry.
那个 Look...
我确实因为一些很愚蠢的原因做了一些愚蠢的事情 I did a lot of stupid things for a lot of really stupid reasons,
但事实上 But the truth is,
那个吻 That kiss?
我让你吻我是因为 I made you do it 'cause, well...
我喜欢你 I like you.
很好 Well, that's good.
因为我也喜欢你 手机小姐 Because I like you, too, smartphone.
那么 So...
你愿意找时间出去一起玩玩吗 You want to hang out sometime?
不愿意 No.
这回我想把一切都处理好 I want to do it right this time.
我想跟你来次真正的约会 I want to go on a real date with you.
我不想打断你们的美好时刻 I hate to break up the happy ending,
但表演时间要到了 But it's showtime, so...
好好表现 Go get 'em.
干得漂亮啊 Awesome sauce.
她是我最好的朋友 所以你最好对她好点 She's my best friend, so you better be good to her,
如果你把她惹着了 就等于跟我过不去 Because if you mess with her, you mess with me,
你可不想 好吧 祝你们开心 And you don't wanna-- okay, have fun.
约会顺利 Have a good dating life.
女士们 先生们 Ladies and gentlemen,
舞蹈对决时间 It's dance-off time!
掌声欢迎西湖高中校舞蹈队 Let's give it up for the Westlake High varsity dance squad!
好的各位 Okay, guys,
上去做好自己该做的 Just go out there and do your thing.
用心而不是用脚起舞 Dance with your hearts and not your feet.
玩得开心 Have fun.
跳你的毛利 Do your maori...
土著舞 Haka.
到场上去做你们自己 好吗 Just... Go out there and be boys, okay?
来来来 Come on, bring it in.
太厉害了 That was outstanding.
想击败他们可不容易 It's gonna be tough to beat.
好的 下面我们欢迎 All right, let's give it up
西湖高中后备舞蹈队 for the Westlake High junior varsity dance squad!
没问题的 You got this.
我们的胜者产生了 We have a clear winner!
西湖高中有了一支新的舞蹈队 Westlake high has a new dance squad,
他们将代表学校参加今年全州舞蹈大赛 Representing this school at this year's state dance competition!
她也太慢了吧 She's taking forever!
佐伊 快点 Zoey, come on!
嘿 不用大喊大叫 大块头 Hey, no need to shout there, big guy.
是啊 我们又不着急 Yeah, we're in no hurry.
姑娘有时候准备的时间就是长一些 Girls sometimes need a little more time to get ready.
不好意思 谁刚才说姑娘动作慢来着 Excuse me, did I just hear something about girls moving too slowly?
吃我的土吧你 Eat my dust!